Broad Brush Paintings – Episode 5

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Chaitali had forgotten the art of enjoying a day off. She could not remember the last time she had a day ahead of her like this: without any plans, or agenda. Barring occasional sick leaves, and year ending holidays for travel, she rarely took leaves. When she did,  they were to tick off things from various ‘todo’ lists. As for weekends, they  were always busier than the weekdays — what with planning out the coming week, shopping, and sundry things.

Seriously, when was the last I ever wondered how should I spend a day?

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Why I Left Indira (Again)!

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The music playing on FM radio, as I drove down Indira’s flat, was “Desi Girl” (literally a song about native girl, and how you won’t find anyone like my native girl, anywhere in the world).

The idea that the nakharas of desi girls are unparalleled in the world is highly suspect. No I wasn’t going back to native charms, I was leaving Uma to go back to Indira who had newly acquired a FB profile, where she was posting her photos in the latest western clothes, updates about her visits to spas, and hair stylists, snaps of pastas and enchiladas she was cooking at home; Indira whose father owned a, now prospering, packaged foods business; and all this with an additional promise of freedom from unmitigated feminism of the likes of Uma.

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Scattered Thoughts on Moral Authority

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Sometime back, I posted an article by Alexander McCall Smith (Old fashioned morals can rescue societies broken by bad behavior) to my Facebook wall. Smith, better known for his Bostwana based series, The No.1 Ladies Detective Agency, although his other two series set in Edinburgh, Scotland, probably delve a lot more into the issues of modern society, and old-fashioned morality, through long monologues of their, (rather similar) mid-aged females characters each (Isabel Dalhousie, the philosopher/accidental detective, in The Sunday Philosophy Club series; and Domenica MacDonald, the reluctant archeologist from 44 Scotland Street series, who spends all her time thinking about the world around her), talks about the degeneration of social morality. He laments the ‘old fashioned morals’ like decency, good manners and so on. A voice, that his above-mentioned female protagonists seem to borrow from time to time. Continue reading

Bukowski In My Dream

The other day
Bukowski was in my dream,
unshaven
tired looking,
yet his eyes
full of left-over fire

write you scumbag
he thundered
until you do
you’ll not know
how much you suck
at it

and when I know,
I asked,
how do I start
sucking
a little less?

he shook his head
looked at me, as if
I were hopeless …
for that, he said,
you’ll have to
start living
first

Gulaal – The Fringe Bollywood

I am an unabashed fan of Anurag Kashyap. I guess I’m one of the few who believes Black Friday is his sleepwalking film, and weakest, and that No Smoking is his best film. And yet, I did not watch Gulaal for a long time. Big mistake.

Set in Rajasthan, this is another Kashyap masterpiece, although it (understandable – as even though it released just after Dev D, it predates all his released movies, in terms of production, and is raw) lacks the finesse of some of his later work. But that’s more than made up by the sheer display of brilliance.

1. Music: Haunting music. Taken outside the movie it probably cannot stand like Dev D or Black Friday music, but in the context of movie, it works wonders. Especially haunting is “O Ri Duniya”. And the way it is used is typical Kashyap brilliance on that front.

2. Performances: Kay Kay delivers as he’s probably expected to. But Deepak Dobriyal (Bollywood is a graveyard of such immensely talented actors, with zero personality), Piyush Mishra (who also happens to be responsible for all that music, also plays a blinder of sorts, only this ain’t cricket), Abhimanyu Singh (what a bearing!), all stun you. Mahie Gill, Aditya Srivastava, and Pankaj Jha also leave a mark. To think that all these cameos were stuck in the stupid Indian sensor jail for years!

3. The treatment: Raw, and brilliant. Excellent pace, and yet engaging. Only No Smoking among his other films was more difficult a movie to make. But Kashyap’s brilliance is stamped all over this film — albeit, as I already said, lacking fineness.

4. Story: Offbeat and powerful, dark, and stark. This is noir movie without the customary dark scenes, replaced with liberal use of colors — as the name suggest.

All in all, it surely belongs to the best of his films. As with No Smoking, which could not lift the weight of expectations that came after Black Friday, Gulaal suffered due to tactical mistake of releasing it after Dev D. Both Black Friday and Dev D are mainstream Bollywood movies. Okay, not Black Friday per se, but even that is very consumable, and people tend to like what they can ‘easily digest’. And when they get it, they expect it every time.

Bollywood mainstream is moving into ‘cannot fail because it’s too big’ zone, and so it’s left to these smaller/medium budget projects to experiment and take cinematic experience to hitherto unexplored areas, at the risk of failing. Sadly, the risk is all too real, because frankly, Indian movie watching public want refined carbohydrates.Everything else is a #fail.

“rago me daudate phirne ke hum nahi kayal”

Oh well we are.

On the ‘Verses’, and Soft Targets

The regrettable Rushdie affair is kind of over, with media moving onto other stories,  I suppose. A lot has been said on the subject, and I guess people are bored. But then, the advantage of a blog that’s rarely read is that one can go on and drag dead horses around. One’s gotta capitalize on blessing in disguise.

My reaction to the whole affair will be no surprise to anyone who reads this blog. I’m terribly upset by the politicization of everything cultural, and the way philistine mobs are ruling the country covertly, under the disguise of democracy. From Mistry, to Rushdie, we’ve seen how political landscape has subverted the cultural scene, making India’s claims to being a liberal democracy hollow.

We’re a mobocracy. We’re a religio-fasist-republic. Rights have stopped meaning anything in this country, unless they’re rights to be offended on the grounds of non-provable, irrational beliefs. Freedom of expression has degenerated in India over the last few years alarmingly. And what’s terrible is that the state has gone from a passive – I can’t protect your freedoms – stance, to an active denial of rights – since I can’t protect your freedom, I’ll stamp it down. Any special interest group can threaten with violence, and viola, state will abandon it’s responsibility to uphold individual rights, in the name of threat to law and order — with one exception: if the right is the right to be offended, and backed by theological power.

As if that were not enough, we’ve bogeymen who question literary/artistic merits of works in the middle of these atavistic attacks, when they should ideally support the defenseless artists/writers, but if not that, then at least have the decency to shut up.

For instance, in present case, the literary merits of The Satanic Verses are entirely besides the point. But given that these morons are out spitting at it, as a huge fan of Rushdie’s writings, I cannot help but step in an defend the book. I first picked up the Verses, way back, when I had no exposure to good literature, no real mental repertoire to grasp any of it. Predictably, I put it down after twenty odd pages. The friend who had lent me his copy had warned me, saying it’s a pathetic book, and the controversy probably helped its sales. I don’t deny the latter part. Controversies help sales of the books, not necessarily the books though. Controversies make people who do not have repertoire to appreciate an artistic work flock to it, and I’m not sure it’s a good thing for the work. When I picked up Verses again last year, I was totally knocked down by its sheer brilliance. It’s of course okay to not like it, and to say one doesn’t like it. But why bring that up when what’s at stake is larger issue of freedom of expression?

And that brings us to Bhagat. Some say that he’s a soft target. Well, he thrives on being a soft target. Bhagat is essentially a literary counterpart of Bollywood — empty, mediocre, basking in its own success (defined as acceptance by masses), full of cliches, and whose understanding of the word controversial is : able to generate eyeballs. But controversial in arts has so much more to offer — and that’s lost on both Bhagat and bollywood, because this idea of being controversial for the sake of art is an anathema to them. If it’s so controversial that it offends, then it will alienate the masses. And what good is that?

Bhagat’s comments in this media circus were a typical case of ‘attention whore syndrome’, where one hopes to steal part of limelight that an unpleasant controversy has generated, but, of course, without the unpleasantness. So what better route to take than to cast Rushdie as a non-Indian, branding those who are outraged at the politicization of arts as ‘extreme liberals’, and generally trying to remain in the center, without really questioning the center of what? But then I’m being lenient. He knew center of what. Center of attention. Issues be damned.

I can forgive bad writing, more so because I know how easy it is to land up there; I can even forgive bad writing that’s gone viral and is popular, for that’s no fault of the writer; I can forgive bad thinking, for we’re all capable of that, without realizing it; but what I cannot forgive, is bad intent. And Bhagat has displayed that in this whole mess. And it’s a shame that despite being a writer himself, he has zero understanding of what it means to be a writer or an artist in general. And looking at his recent verbal diarrhea, I don’t think he’s ever going to get it. And that’s the real shame (pun entirely unintended).

The Urinary Track

For a while, this post has been on the agenda. But today, I cannot procrastinate it any further. Like most urinary matters, there is a sense of urgency here. So what exactly got a lazy bum like me to start dumping my brain contents with urgency?

This:

A Shower for the Hobbits?

What is this? A shower for Hobbits? Of course not, although it might work well as one. It is — you guessed it (you did, didn’t you? especially after the title of the blog?) — a urinal. For a moment I froze when I looked at this. And then I asked a friend who was with me: “Why?”

Yes, philosophical questions rear their ugly heads in practically any context. But here, especially, I think it’s a relevant question. I mean, really, WHY the f$%#! Are those standard, typical, urinals that expensive, that at frigging expensive places like hotels and multiplexes, they have to do cost cutting?

Of course not.

Like I said this post was long due. The previous context was the apparent inverse proportion between how pricey a place is, and the length/height of the wall separating two urinals in a restroom. For instance, a typical restroom for men in posh hotels/multiplexes looks like this:

Get rid of walls and partitions!

It’s like John Lennon’s dream come true.

“Imagine there’s no walls,
No partitions too,
Imagine all the people, peeing in harmony …”

Yes, break down all the walls and partitions. And what a better place to start than restrooms!

In Metro BIG Cinema, or the multiplexed version of the original Metro Cinema in south Mumbai, where tickets are 300 and above, we have something similar to this in the restroom:

Look at the screen, not, um, elsewhere

Okay from what I remember there is a small excuse of a board between the two urinals, but their purpose is to demarcate the area for individual, I guess, because they serve no other purpose (unless again, it’s designed with Hobbits in mind). Here is how the logic goes.

“We’ve given you a digital scree to stare at, so no one should look anywhere else”

Pray tell me: anyone who can afford those digital screens, one per urinal, why can’t they afford a proper partition? Surely affordability is not the issue.

So that gets us back to the point before: why are the rest rooms in more expensive/plush places less privacy oriented? Do people from higher classes of society belong to some sort of not-so-secret society, where this is an initiation routine — feeling comfortable to pee (almost) in the open? Or is this some sort of social justice, where like those poor people who are forced to pee out in the open, through necessity; more well to do people are forced to pee, (virtually) out in the open?

I for one have no answers. Let the theories flow.

Hitler Reacts to Tendulkar’s 100th Ton Mania

Hitler is angry with Indians, and Mumbaikars in particular, for ignoring Pawar incident a day before and watching test match instead for Tendulkars (missed) hundred.

Already posted to twitter and FB. Posting to blog for ‘completeness’. ;-) . All feedback appreciated, as usual. Share, if you feel like it.

 

 

Ethics of Drinking

There are some people who’ll say that ‘ethics of drinking’ is an oxymoron of sorts, while others will say, screw ethics, drink, have fun. But over the years, I’ve burned some grey matter over this.

When I was too young to drink, I had taken on a, for that age typical, position that drinking is a bad thing, and I will NEVER drink. The NEVER lasted for a couple of years, by when I was not too young to drink anymore. I let go my former diktat to myself. I started with the stronger brew: the iconic Old Monk rum. Then, for a while, scoffing at beers, and insisting that wines are a snobbish waste of money, I stuck to rum, despite inability of my system to really cope with it. Over the years I had puked in the roadside gutter, I had a new year’s first day completely wiped off the calender due to extreme bouts of vomiting, and so on. Finally, I embraced beer, another U-Turn, gradually started loving it. Continue reading

Broad Brush Paintings – Episode 4

Note: Restarting the series I started in Oct, 2 years back! :) . I guess, this must be first serial fiction which spanned two years for four parts. And by now, I’ve no hope of anyone following this. But what the hell. Writing is its own reward, consoles every failed writer. In a curious way, though, we are right.

To recap: Not much has happened in episodes 1, 2 and 3, beyond some thoughts by characters — about life, love, writing, and other petty things.


Chaitali was woken up by a jazzy ring tone she hadn’t heard before. Another quintessential V habit, she thought, changing the caller tune every other day. For a moment, she tried to think if she had heard the music before — it did sound very familiar, but she could not recall where she had heard it. Then she really woke up.

First thing she noticed was the room: she was not in the bedroom, but in the living room, slumped on the sofa, her neck somewhat stiff. The next thing she noticed was the bright sunlight in the room, unlike the semi-darkness that she was used to when she woke up every day. She sprang to her feet when it dawned on her that she had overslept! She went to the bedroom and found her phone; it had a few missed calls from the office. Only then did she notice V’s absence. She kicked the bed in rage. Continue reading