Jaane Tu and an Altered Monologue

eik: This is asli entertainment man! Full2 paisa-wasool.

do: Hmmm.

eik: What? You didn’t like it?

do: I didn’t say that.

eik: So you liked it?

do: I didn’t say that either.

eik: Oh! Come on. do’t give me that shit. What’s your problem? Why can’t you enjoy a simple romantic comedy.

do: Well, it’s complicated.

eik: What’s bloody complicated about a simple movie? You either like it or you don’t. And either ways, it’s simple.

do: That’s the problem.

eik: Grrrr! Would you tell me what was your problem with the movie?

do: Let’s see. Where do I get started.

eik: Okay, you can act normal. You aren’t talking to a crowd. Start anywhere.

do: Let’s start at the end then. “please don’t go” … “I’m not going stupid”. I mean WTF! What happened to that film-making or whatever course in New York university or whatever?

eik: Dude! You’re splitting hairs.

do: No! No! That’s the whole point! All these twenty-somethings — all they’re interested in is parties, boy/girl-friends, and so on. This supposedly poor hero of ours is least worried about lack of job. No one wants to do anything other than “hanging out” with friends or girl/boy-friend.

eik: Dude, you’re getting old.

do: Wait! I’m getting there. You’d think only the young would be engrossed in such madness? But every parent in the movie seems worried about only one thing: will their dear child get “the one”. I mean surely at 21, you don’t see parents, pretty rich parents at that, worried about “too many proposals will come in, so why not get her engaged asap?” And surely, a single working mom would be worried more about her son getting a job, rather than what’s happening in his romantic life, no?

eik: Sigh! It’s a film. Could you stop reading it like a sociological treatise? What do you want them to show – these characters going for job interviews, their moms and dads worried about their future, and getting heat attacks? Would that please you?”

do: Shut up. And what’s this Rajput thing? Isn’t it enough that the guy is nice and all. Why does he have to hit somebody before he’s accepted as man? Isn’t this taking away his agency?”

eik: Oye, pseudo intellectual, I give up. There is no pleasing you. Why do I even bother!

do: Exactly.

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8 thoughts on “Jaane Tu and an Altered Monologue

  1. missalister says:

    I loved this interchange. Not only is it just the right amount of amusing, it tells me what the reviews and the trailer signal to me, that I don’t need to see this movie 😉 It seems to echo contentless American sitcom nothingness as far as entertainment value goes. I’m with Do…exactly 😀

  2. IW says:

    How is the broken funny bone ? From the looks of it “zakhm kaafi gehraa hein”. Aap kuch dino ke liye koi Hill Station kyu nahi jaate ?

    But seriously, this one lacked the usual bite that one associates with your writing. As for the film, I have neither seen it, nor do I have any inclination to see it in near or distant future. I am way beyond watching any teeny-bopper fare. And please, next time “S” (i presume, you endured the movie for her) emotionally blackmails you in watching such movies.. be firm.. be strong and say “NO”. C’mon, you can do it man! 😉

    p.s. : Having said that, I did watch “Singh Is King”, first day – second show. Nobody blackmailed me in seeing it. I saw the movie alone, out of my own free will. It’s true, depression can drive you to the brink and beyond.

  3. asuph says:

    missalister: I’m with both of them, actually. Hell, I’m both of them. It did make me laugh.

    iw: does the funny bone heal better on hill? just because they sound similar? no no. S did not blackmail me. i watched it, because i wanted to. she only blackmails me into watching srk flicks.

    and seriously, i liked it. i won’t recommend or anything. but on that particular day, i did smile a lot. there were moments worth the time.

    cheers,
    asuph

  4. IW says:

    >> does the funny bone heal better on hill?

    Yes, the clean cool air heals everything from broken heart to broken funny bone. And who knows, if you are lucky enough, You might run into some Pahadi gal a la Mandakini..

    “Husn Pahaado Kaa..
    Oh Saaibaa, Yaha Baroh Mahiney..
    Mausam Jaado Ka..”

    (Excuse the crude approximate lyrics, too lazy to google for the correct ones)

  5. K says:

    O frabjous day! You have no idea how happy this post made me.

    I am joyous beyond words that there’s another soul in this world who has exactly the same goddamn sentiments towards that wretched helping of romantic tamarind chutney with too much gul in it.

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