Shaadi Ke Side Effects

Scene 1:

“How do I look?”

“Great!”

“At least look at me before saying that!”

“I don’t need to look at you. You’re always on my mind”

“Shut up!”

Scene 2:

“How do I look?”

Actually looking at her, “Um….”

“You don’t like me anymore!”

“What crap. You don’t even give me time to say anything”

“Oh, your eyes say it all”

are. I was just looking”

“You don’t need to look that long”

Scene 3:

“Tell me should I wear this (exhibit A), or this (exhibit B)?” (parenthesis mine, of course)

“Anything is fine!”

“You never help me!”

“But both look good on you”

“You mean: get over with it?”

Sheepish smile. “No seriously”

“Still…

“This one” (pointing at A)

Thinks for a while. “Nah! That’s a bit too gaudy for the occasion. I think I’ll wear this one”, picks up B.

Scene 4:

“How does this look?”

“Um…. I don’t think that top goes well with the jeans”

“You don’t understand fashion!”

Scene 5:

“How is this?”

“Um?”, I look, and not that long, “Great!”

“You really think so?”

“Yeah, I mean this one really suites you complexion”

Throws anything that she can find at me. “Get out!”

“Why! What happened”

“Like you don’t know?”

“No seriously?”, in my most naive tone.

“You think I’m dark”

“Now, let’s keep aside for a moment whether I think you’re dark, but I don’t think there is anything wrong with dark! We’re Indians. We’re dark skinned. If anything fair is a problem in this part of the world”

Waits with glaring eyes.

“Okay, that was kind of tangential, but I don’t think you’re dark”

“Ah! Why do I even ask”

“Precisely”, I say to myself.

Scene 6:

“Wow! You look great!”

“What do you want from me?”

Scene 7:

“Wow! You look great!”

Starts laughing.

“What?”

“You are saying it just because I accused you yesterday”

Misreading the laughter, gives a sheepish smile.

“You’re impossible!”

Scene 8:

“Wow! That’s a nice dress. New?”

More beating. “That’s about the only dress you ever got me, three years back, while you still loved me”

“See I’ve a good taste”

Ignores me completely.

Scene 9:

A is her office colleague.

“Wow! That’s a nice dress, A”

More beating (in public, with witnesses). “You never say that to me”

“Oh I said it just a day before”

“Right. When I was wearing that one dress you’d gifted me, you kanjoos

“Well maybe you should go with A for shopping. She seems to have a decent taste”, that will take care of those shopping trips!

“So that you don’t have to come with me for shopping. I’m not falling for that!”

Scene 10:

“How do I look?”

“Did you get a haircut?”

“Ah! You notice now, after I ask you!”

Ignores the taunt. “That’s a funny haircut”

“That’s it. I’m never going to ask you again!”

Next Day:

“Everyone appreciated my new hairstyle at the office”

“Good for you”

“You just don’t appreciate me”

“I thought you and your hairstyle were two different things”

“Grrrrrrr”

Scene 1:

“How do I look?”

“Great!”

….

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22 thoughts on “Shaadi Ke Side Effects

  1. mahendrap says:

    Shailesh, Asuph: Amya is so creative, that only 1 or 2 scenes may be real. That much is enough for him to extrapolate it into a full-length poetic post!

    And yes, as always, very well-written, and funny!

  2. asuph says:

    shailya: thanks. no i never intended it to be funny 😉

    mahendra: ahem, thanks for the compliments. coming from you i don’t have to worry about flattery.

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