Shhhhh!t – Episode 1

[Note: This series is a scholarly study of a fringe religion that’s lost to anonymity, although evidence of its one time existence is undenying. To some people, especially those who tend to regard only the mainstream religions as religions, this writing may sound offensive, or even making fun of religion. Stop right here, if you’re one such person. For I don’t want religious bigots to read my writings, it’s an affront to my religion and hundreds of fringe religions that have been ignored/denied by the mainstream all these years. This is no parody, and branding it as such will be taken as an offense by many. Holy Shit!]

“Shit happens” — Vincent Vega (pulp fiction)

The custodians of the Holy Shit got it all wrong — no not the shit of course, that’s one thing they got dead right. But they didn’t know what they were supposed to do with all that shit. It was way before Television was invented, forget Internet, and it still kept coming!

And it so happened that one day, Nishchit, a very sincere follower of a then new religion (which soon vanished into oblivion, as its high priests went on a long trip to find the *it* (or it!) that so eluded the humans, never to return) stumbled upon the custodians of the holy shit, as they were contemplating the nature of the holy shit.

Hard of hearing, Nishchit thought he heard the phrase “the holy it”, and that really got him interested in the conversation. There aren’t too many accurate historical parchments that have survived, but it’s known that the dialog went something like this:

“Do you know anything about *it*?”, Nishchit asked.

Not knowing how to answer a direct question about the world’s best kept secret at that time (according to all the historical accounts of that time, which are now mostly destroyed) the custodians decided to play it safe.

“It’s unknowable, you gotta experience it!”

“And what if you don’t know how to”

“Oh! You better know. No shit!”, one of the custodian said, with a relieved smile.

“He knows no shit”, he whispered to his colleagues, who tried not to laugh out loud.

At this point Nishchit, more confused than before, decided that religious philosophy was out of his reach. It was a good thing, as far as his wife was concerned.

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