Murmurs from the Congress Camp

Congress had convened an emergency meeting to discuss the fallouts (sic) of the 2004 elections trends and results. There was a complete confusion. First ten minutes were spent with everyone pinching themselves, just to confirm that it’s not a dream. The sequence was broken when someone accidentally pinched Rahul Gandhi, who screamed out loud, “Mommmmyyyyyy”… Mommy was busy pinching herself, as she wasn’t at all convinced even after multiple pinches that she wasn’t dreaming. Prinyanka, ever alert to the situation rushed to Rahul and scolded him for his childish conduct. “What would your Grandma think, down in the hell.. i mean up there in the heaven?… You could be the next PM, Rahul, if the other parties don’t like Mommy’s foreign origins! Gather yourself!”…

“You mean Prime Minister? Me?. Mommmmmmmyyyy”…

Finally Soniaji was convinced she’s awake. “Kaun hai woh jo mere bete ko rula raha hai?”, she screamed out word-by-word, only to find Priyanka next to her son. “Priyanka.. why do u trouble him?”

“But I was only telling him that he could be the next PM, mom..”

“Muze Mom mat kaho.. ab se hum sab hindi me hi baat karenge.. maa kaho.. ab main hindustaan ki maa hun..”

“Mom, we still don’t have the majority.. and your origin issue..”

“Shut up.. Mera matlab hai, chup raho.. main kuch nahi sunana chaahati.”, turning to Rahul.. “Rahul, beta why are you so tense”..

“She says I could be the next PM!”

“So you should be happy”

“But mom you only said that I don’t need to worry about being a PM till 2009! Now I don’t even know what a PM does! They don’t teach that in business school”

“But that’s okay.. Even I don’t know it.. Even your dear father — who lost his life in selfless service to this country, just like his mother (may peace be upon her) — didn’t know it either. You’ll learn”

“I want to be the PM”, screams Sharad Pawar, and then realizes that he is not fit.. asks for a glass of water and sits in the corner.

“What if they oppose Soniaji?”, asks someone..

“Who would oppose her”?, thunders Priyanka.. Anyway, we’ll have Left support, and Left doesn’t believe in trivial issues such as nationalism”..(in a low voice) “aur rahi baat pawarji ki, unko raksha-mantripad de denge phir-se”..

“Nahi… Main Soniaji ko PM nahi banane dunga”, pawar having taken his rest break, manages to speak out.

“Then we’ll have to go in for Mulayam”, Priyanka adds, “he wouldn’t mind even Imran Khan being our PM. And as it is you just have nine seats..”

“Well, I’ve changed my mind!”, Pawar chips in.. “Afterall, Italy and India both start with an I, and have five characters each.”

“It’s settled then, let’s go to that Kalam fellow”, Sonia says.

“Mom, we still haven’t talked to the left”, reminds Priyanka..

“oh.. yes.. silly me.. I just can’t wait to be the PM.. the meeting is adjourned”

“Sonia ji ki jai.. ” (chorus)

Time for some Pizza…


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