The Hiatus

The hiatus
has tired me,
the wait
has drained me
of hope, and despair

When time crawls,
does the heart beat faster
each stagnant minute?

I have not lost
a heartbeat in ages,
while time has
hardly moved

Surely, at this rate
I will run out of heartbeats
before my time comes

The hiatus
has tired me

God knows how long
I’ve waited
with my black pieces,
for her to move
her white pawn

I have tried to kiss
her invisible hand
in abject surrender,
resigning before
the game even started

Add me into your list
of unending conquests
and call off this farce
even when
the time doesn’t move
it makes sense
to salvage every second

And I wait with
bated breath
dreading the nod
hoping against hope
despairing against despair
and hate myself
for the cowardice

I see her smiling
And hear a kind voice

I knew you’d choose
living against immortality,
and blame me
for being unfair;
you’re not
a worthy conquest

The hiatus
it has tired me,
the wait
is my only hope

[The opening line is thanks to Kundera]