We need exile
February 13, 2007
We need exile
No, not the forced
exile, of an
outcast
even that is
too glorious
Not even the kind
of exile
where the crowd has gone
the other way
while you stayed the course
zealously
like a man possessed
It’s too coincidental
Too at other people’s
random whims,
however predictable
We need exile
where we choose
the time and the place
deliberately
and walk away
from the center-stage
ignoring the applause
Because we wanted
to go
to be
to grow
to see, for oneself
the emptiness within
Yet we won’t
walk away,
and will wait
for a martyrdom,
or a grand finale
February 13, 2007 at 7:28 pm
thank you
February 13, 2007 at 8:51 pm
Hey asuph,
Yes, seems like I have got here in time. The advent of feedreads.
Yes, Liked it. Would have more if you had chopped off the last stanza, sounds bit preachy to my humble ears ( how’s that for a emotional disclaimer?)
Also, a bit more rhythm would be work well.
Like in the last stanza
Because we
wanted
to
Be
go
be
grow
see,
for oneself ?ourselves?
the empty
ness
within
Heck mercies, it would then turn out to be my than yours.
cheers
February 14, 2007 at 4:22 am
neat!
February 14, 2007 at 5:12 am
nice
and hits a little too close to home
especially these lines
Not even the kind
of exile
where the crowd has gone
the other way
while you stayed the course
zealously
like a man possessed
I liked it.
February 14, 2007 at 10:33 am
Read it a few times and everytime it stirs differetly.
Loved the last para.
February 14, 2007 at 12:33 pm
>> to grow
to see, for oneself
the emptiness within
That quite explains your (frequent) self-imposed Vanvaas from the Shout-Box. So much emptiness to deal with !! Good for you (and to those around you)
p.s. : Prose.. Prose.. Prose.. Plz. Pretty Plz.
February 14, 2007 at 3:48 pm
oh – i completely agree!!!
February 22, 2007 at 7:10 pm
just the right read for me in this mood. Just got to your post from somewhere i don’t remember. But like it a lot and frequently come visit it.
Loved this para:
We need exile
where we choose
the time and the place
deliberately
and walk away
from the center-stage
ignoring the applause
Though this is quite close to martydom i guess..
February 27, 2007 at 5:31 am
Thanks Nisha. Glad you liked it.
Welcome to my blog. Do come back.